Humanist Bastards

The American Humanist Associations irks Ken 'The Lie' Ham because they dare to suggest that you don't need to believe in invisible sky fairies in order to be a good person. No, in order to be a good person, you have to believe that an ancient book of myths and fantasy stories is the only thing in the world you can trust.

Here are is a simple guide from the AHA for living a good life

Be nice
Care for the world around us
Think for myself
Think about how other people feel
Tell the truth
Help others
Take good care of myself

Bastards. How can anybody be good by being nice? God isn't nice, kids should be good by being 'nice' like him.

Here is how I imagine Ken 'The Lie' Ham's guide to living a good life might look

Be nice, but only to Christians. And only to those Christians who think the world is 6000 years old. Everyone who does not believe this is a sinner. Why should you be nice to them? They're damned anyway.

He made it, it's God's world. Do what you want with it, he'll clear up the mess.

Think what we tell you to think. Or rather, what we tell you God wants you to think. Thinking for yourself makes you believe in millions of years, and that man is made of molecules, just like every other living thing.

Tell lies, but ram home that the lies your telling are actually truth, because we've got an ancient book of myth that tells us what the truth is.

Help Answers in Genesis build a replica of a big boat, just like Noah's. Only $10 for a wooden peg.

Take good care of yourself. But let us take care of your brain. We'll control it for you, tell what to think (except it's not really what those bastard Humanists would call thinking).

Remember, people of America, the Humanists want your children to be good people. Ken 'The Lie' Ham just wants your children.